dating 101

Okay - get ready, because I'm about to share a very funny, weird, awkward, over-the-top dating experience that I still can't believe. That's right ... Fucking EPIC ...

I've decided to preface this little entry with the # 1 Rule everyone should follow when going on any first date or blind date. DO NOT TALK ABOUT YOUR EX - EVER. Okay ... did you hear me? That's right, don't even bring it up, don't skate around the subject waiting for the other person to feel obligated to act interested in your past relationships. I don't care how dysfunctional your recent relationship was - and frankly I would be completely content NEVER KNOWING at all. Why - because once the flood gates open ... I'm pretty sure people tend to spill their guts all over the table ... like verbal vomit ... and in this case I'm the one left looking at it going ... WHAT THE F?! Are you kidding me. CLEAN THAT SHIT UP ... gross.

I was set up on a blind date by my girlfriend. To be completely honest, I've written off any possibility of me finding a boyfriend any time soon... and I'm TOTALLY okay with it. However, I love to meet new people ... and in the end just hope to make a new friend. Now, this is where this shit gets good.

I meet up with this guy. He's tall. Buff. But not my type. But no worries - he's funny and easy to be around. Not awkward and shy or reserved with nothing to talk about ... in fact he talks toooo much. I can't get 2 words in ... and in a matter of about 30 minutes we are in a deep conversation about his ex girlfriend of 7 years that is still living in his house. But he says he's moved out ... and is still paying for all of her shit. Okay - Wake up call. ShHUT YOUR TRAP. #1 I don't care. #2 I don't want to know about it. #3 Don't expect to be in a relationship anytime soon, if that's how you start your first date. Shit.

At the end of the date I was so thrown and confused ... asking myself ... why did he go on a date, when clearly he is still stuck on some chick who you claims to be 'done with' ... I mean cool - thanks for the beer and the round of pool. Maybe you should get your shit straight before you step out into the dating world and sabotage any chance you might have with any respectable girl. Get your shit together chump.

I think I'm almost done venting ... Accept for the fact that I have received far too many phone calls and text messages ... and it hasn't even been 24 HOURS! WHAT!? Simmer DOWN BUD. Did I not make myself clear? Not interested. You're life is full of more drama than I would ever want in my entire life. over it. moving on. thank youuuuuuu.


Done and DONE.