I recently started reading a book by the editor of Cosmo magazine titled: "You on Top." Appropriately titled, I know. This nice little concoction of business, relationship, friendship, and sex advice is quite refreshing and a bit disappointing all wrapped into one.
One chapter that sticks in my mind states all the ways and tips for finding the right guy.
#1 - Don't think that it's going to just 'happen.' - Finding the right guy takes work, and you have to be willing to put in that work ... to find him. (gross ... who says you should have to work to find a nice guy ...)
# 2 - Soul mates don't exist. Probably I have always agreed with this statement, but like to pretend to be optimistic about the whole dating situation. (is it okay to lie to yourself to make a situation seem more appealing?!) If not, let me know!
# 3 - It's all about the numbers. This rule basically states that for about every 10 blind dates you go on ... maybe, just maybe, there will be one guy that isn't a complete creepster / sleeze-ball. Do I agree with this one ?! ... well I sure as hell HOPE NOT ... because that's horribly depressing ... and saying that I will need to go on 50 dates before I will even meet 5 guys that are decent enough to call back is nasty. horrible. gross. and possibly true.
Now taking this nice little chapter into consideration ... and applying to my everyday life - I have a few comments. Recently several of my college friends have gotten married ... unfortunately, one couple is already divorced - that's right a year and a half later. So - as I read a book about dating, what to do, and what not to do. It still makes me wonder how you 'ever really know who someone is.' Meaning - you date someone for let's say 4 years. You move in together, you get married ... and then things take a turn for the worst. Lust turns to dust ... and love turns to shove off! And then where are you? Stuck at a dead-end road wondering how you got there ... and why you just wasted 4 years with someone you barely knew.
Okay - as pessimistic as that last paragraph was ... I think it brings up some valuable points. Is it the end result that we are looking for when in a relationship? Or is it just the 'ride' that we thrive to be on?
Dating advice is something that steps on several toes, offends most, questions many, and inevitably puts a damper on the 'thrill of dating.'
So - my dating advice, listen ... and listen WELL because this is GOOD SHIT ... take it for what it is. Live in the now, for yesterday no longer matters, and tomorrow is another journey. So, enjoy. date. learn. grow. and be yourself.
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